My Facebook Movie

“A Look Back: Cameron Higby-Naquin’s Nine Years of Facebook”, a screenplay, excerpt.
INT. ASTROPHYSICS LAB. AFTER MIDNIGHT.

CAMERON, bumbling student, is procrastinating writing his thesis
by playing Nethack. He is typing furiously. In the same room, the
cool student MAXIMILIAN is relaxing on the couch, wearing
sunglasses and a pretty wicked scarf and tapping absentmindedly
on a Blackberry.

CAMERON
Dang, died again! Curse these killer bees! I need their wax to
stop up my ears to get past the banshee...

MAXIMILIAN
Dude, your gaming is mega-unchill. You should get on The
Facebook, stat.

CAMERON
Facebook? More like Hitler-book. Sounds like something for people
who are not me.

MAXIMILIAN
Mega. Un. Chill.

He takes a cigarette out of a slot in his Blackberry and smokes
it.

CUT TO:

INT. CAFETERIA. THE NEXT MORNING.

Cameron with his breakfast on a tray walks up to a table full of
rowdily talking, attractive and intelligent college students. There is
one empty seat.

CAMERON
Mind if I sit down?

ATTRACTIVE AND INTELLIGENT STUDENT
No, that's Marianna's seat. She told us to save her one on The
Facebook.

CAMERON
Facebook . . .

CUT TO:

INT. ASTROPHYSICS LAB. EVENING. 1 MONTH LATER.

Cameron, wearing a "Conan the Barbarian" t-shirt, sits at a
computer showing the Facebook sign-up screen.

CAMERON
Man, this sucks. I feel like I'm creating an account at the Mall.

He is about to close the tab, when two GIRLS walk by the open lab
door.

GIRL #1
Looking at people's favorite movies on the Facebook is the
coolest.

GIRL #2
Totally. I'm mega-stalking everyone who likes the same ones that
I do.

They vanish down the hall.

CAMERON
Stalking, you say?

Cameron starts filling out the sign up screen.
Published on Feb 06, 2014